FEAR: An illusion of the mind

Fear is undoubtedly the most common emotion we all share. President Franklin Roosevelt once famously stated that, "the only thing we have to fear is fear itself." The truth of the matter is that we all have an innate fear of some sort within us, but some individuals are better at disguising theirs than others.

Most people often confuse fear with phobia, when in actual fact they are very different in definition. Fear is considered as an anxious emotion which induces a belief that something or a situation is dangerous or represent a threat of pain or harm. On the other hand, a phobia is simply an irrational fear of something or an imaginative situation.   

There are many kinds of fear, which psychologists categorised into 5 sections upon which all our "supposed" fears are formed. These are;

ü  Ego-death: Fear of shame, humiliation, loss of integrity, and self-disapproval. "Fear of the disintegration of one's constructed sense of worth and ability. This covers, public speaking, social exclusion, and reclusiveness.  

ü  Extinction: Fear of ceasing to exist or annihilation. This covers the phobia of height, insects, and the like.

ü  Loss of Autonomy: Fear of the loss of independence, immobility, smothering, entrapment or loss of control of circumstances. This encompasses relationships and illness.

ü  Mutilation: Fear of the loss of precious body parts. This covers the fear of being attacked by animals, insects, and others.

ü  Separation: Fear of being separated from loved ones, rejection, abandonment, and isolation.  

 

Fear has many origins, but worth highlighting are the "environmental" and "human" factors involved, which are most prevalent today. You see, I was brought up by family members who due to their troubles in life went about inflicting fear into my mind as a child. Often times, I was made to believe that I was not worth much, and as a result was deprived of self-expression of my opinions in relation to various issues. If I dared to rebel, their final resort was persistent punishment in the way of floggings until I pass out. Eventually, this had a profound effect on my psychological make-up and ultimately, my confidence and socio-interactive skills. So we ought to be mindful of the kind of discipline you dish out to your children and never submit yourselves to undue humiliation. 

In many relationships today, women are defamed in the way of physical abuse and often too afraid to leave such abusive partners/husbands, all under the guise of family cohesion. In your place of work, you may be experiencing bullying and discrimination from colleagues. As a result, you begin to question your worth and capabilities. 

In addition, in our day-to-day engagements, we sometimes are too afraid to take risks, not knowing that without risk, success is but a distant memory. Do you want to start a new business? a new course? a new careers? Go for it and don't let "FEAR" deter you.

"Fear will cripple your dreams if you allow it, so I decided to face my fear head-on, and so can you today."   

And remember the saying that, "what the mind can mind can conceive the man can do it." Fear itself is like an imaginary brick wall, to overcome it, you have to break through it.

Stay focused and be persistent on your way to defeating your worst fears.

Dr Dickson Aleroh

Action brings forth Reaction (Success)

Newton's third law of motion can be rephrased as, "an action brings about an equal and opposite reaction." Today, this law is so evident and undoubtedly applies to the decisions individuals as independently-minded entities make on a daily basis. 

Are you making decisions and taking steps that will enrich/enhance your life in the long term? Believe it or not, the truth is that most life altering decisions we make begins with a series of forethoughts, which is borne out of the need for changes in individual's current situation. In actual fact, humans are never contented with their possessions and very often desires more. This is definitely a healthy appetite to have and mostly spurred us to attain greater heights in life. 

Thus, if you've always yearned for greater accomplishments in life, then begin by taking baby steps, and you will find out that gradually your strides will begin to yield success. In the world we live in today, it demands both audacity and courage if you are to excel at the highest level in whatever field you belong. 

Always remember that it is not enough to have big dreams, but to initiate the details of your dreams. In addition, use your dreams as a catapult to success and become a winner in all your endeavors. 

"Remember, the action you take today will determine the reaction or outcome you receive tomorrow."

Finding your identity

This is a topic that would readily resonate amongst many folks around the world today. It may not have occurred to you that every individual grew up (or should grow up) with an "identity". One which would ultimately shape the psychological architecture of any individual, from birth through to adulthood.

Some of these encompasses (although, not limited to) his or her;

• Mannerism.
• Confidence in tackling issues. 
• Integrity.
• Behavioral tendencies.
• Personality traits. 
• Life choices.
• Susceptibilities.
• Career options.
• Social interactional capabilities.
• Manner of associates and relationships.
• Level of ambition. 
• Adaptability.
• Emotiveness and affection.
• Successful indulgences an endeavors.
• Social and economic status.

As a child, growing up in a developing country in west Africa, where age-old traditions and cultural demands overshadows the preservation of certain pivotal and unalienable rights, our parents/guardians often hide behind the delusion of keeping to the tenets of such rigid and archaic system of nurturing their younger generation. 

Nonetheless, besides the impact of tradition and culture on an individual's upbringing, the environment in which this occurs is also paramount. This reverts to the issue of establishing an identity, because the environment in which you were nurtured would inadvertently play a decisive role in the advance stages of life. 

Now, what is an identity and how do you identify yours?

 

This is a question that often baffles me and I have had to ponder on it many times, since I lost my father during my childhood and has since lost a mental picture of who he was. Perhaps not all, some of the memories I still recall are of a man who exuded greatness, embraced unconditional love, fidelity, steadfastness, resilience and hard work without faltering. 

To me, my father was my identity, defined as a groups of characteristics which makes you an individual and sets you apart from others. In other words, your identity defines you and brings out some distinctive qualities which can only be attributed to you. An identity can be adopted from different areas of life, and makes you who you are. 

 

Many youths and adults of the present day are disenfranchised and directionless because they lack an "identity". Maybe you the reader or someone close to you may also lack the same and your actions reflects this. Don't frightt, find a good role model and start learning to develop your identity, because your ultimate identity is within you. 

"I found my identity in me, have you?"

Happy reading..... 

Dr Dickson Aleroh (Motivate Me)    

  

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